tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31911817.post115712556860960562..comments2024-03-10T14:07:40.468-04:00Comments on Blue Rose Girls: It's not brain surgeryBlue Rose Girlshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05224076615462128422noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31911817.post-1157165172255644932006-09-01T22:46:00.000-04:002006-09-01T22:46:00.000-04:00ah, try actually living with a cancer patient. The...ah, try actually living with a cancer patient. There's some tough love for you...the sympathy for sore feet and long work hours is not exactly overwhelming...Grace Linhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18129288262225671104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31911817.post-1157135185326696142006-09-01T14:26:00.000-04:002006-09-01T14:26:00.000-04:00It is amazing sometimes, no matter the situation t...It is amazing sometimes, no matter the situation that we get through times of great stress only to look back and wonder "HOW?!" I'm glad you survived the move Alvina, and hoping NY suits you.<BR/><BR/>I don't know if any of you guys are moms, but it is a different perspective. I find myself saying and doing things I said I NEVER would. And saying and doing things I didn't KNOW or dream possible. Perspective is THE word. I think people try to GIVE that to someone else, not realizing Perspective is really something we give ourselves, sometimes hard won, at that.<BR/><BR/>I had a very, very rough patch as a kid. The only person that helped me at that time, taught me something about myself and a skill. I hadn't realized how strong my inner dialogue was at that point, though I walk around talking to myself. I especially would ask myself stuff, like "Why did I do that-- THAT WAS STUPID!"), she taught me how to ask the kinder, deeper questions. Basically how to be kinder to myself.<BR/><BR/>I think that's where that need comes from. But here's a thought. Though at the TIME you may have wanted the validation, having a new inner dialogue in your internal arsenal, may have been actually more valuable. <BR/><BR/>My favorite is when I did something stupid or painful or WRONG, and the dialogue became "did you learn something?" Thank you for the sneak peek at one editor's situation.Agywhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03177601025524458979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31911817.post-1157132989481133062006-09-01T13:49:00.000-04:002006-09-01T13:49:00.000-04:00Thanks for sharing, both of you! I never knew it w...Thanks for sharing, both of you! I never knew it was that bad when you moved, Alvina! And Meghan, it's nice to know that my mother isn't the only one to respond to bad news with cheery phrases, especially annoying when the cheery phrase completely denies reality (eg when I didn't have a job and didn't see how I was going to pay the rent etc. "Don't worry so much about money" - in a way, it was good advice, the worrying didn't help, but it also didn't help me to be told not to worry!). When I'm upset about something the last thing I want to be told not to feel the way I do --and telilng me that that things could be worse isn't likely to make me feel better, either. Of course, they could be worse! But life isn't a misery contest. When I'm whinig all I want is for someone to understand how I feel. I don't want to be consoled, or told what I SHOULD do. These things by the way were and are high on my list of things I would never do to ny own children if I had any! And if I ever say them to anyONE, that person has my permission to remind me of all this.Libby Koponenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01508041827996196293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31911817.post-1157130921002744192006-09-01T13:15:00.000-04:002006-09-01T13:15:00.000-04:00Yeah, it's funny, I was thinking the other day abo...Yeah, it's funny, I was thinking the other day about this column I read once when I was a kid, I think it was Ann Landers or Dear Abby or something like that, and in response to the letter writer, the columnist said something like: Saying that someone doesn't have it bad just because someone has it worse doesn't make sense, it's like telling the paraplegic that the quadriplegic has it worse. Sure, someone always has it worse, but that doesn't mean that your problems, your issues aren't valid. Anyway, I do think that it's good to keep things in perspective, because the reality is, we could be dead! And it's good to be alive! But each individual has their valid problems and life.alvinalinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04503984086482905226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31911817.post-1157129874119090932006-09-01T12:57:00.000-04:002006-09-01T12:57:00.000-04:00I love hearing about the other side! Sometimes I f...I love hearing about the other side! Sometimes I forget that LB moved. It sounded terrible! <BR/><BR/>Honestly though, I hate when people say things like "It's not brain surgery." My mom always says things like that. She means well but sometimes all you need to hear is "That sucks. Hang in there." When my car got demolished my mom said "It could be worse. You could have cancer." Yes! That's true! But sometimes that's not what you need to hear. Things CAN always be worse but it's your reality...<BR/><BR/>Thanks for sharing, Alvina.<BR/><BR/>meghanMeghan McCarthyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05117528918335897128noreply@blogger.com