whining

I have the flu. It started on friday with severe body aches. Saturday I got a cough and started to feel a bit hot. My neck hurt. My head hurt to cough. It hurt to move my eyes. By Sunday it was a full-blown fever and chills. My blanket was on. Then off. Then on. Then off. AAA!!! I couldn't get up off the couch. Monday was no better. For the past few days when I've gotten up in the morning my clothes were soaked. Today I had to go to physical therapy and on the way I started to feel really sick... started to excessively sweat everywhere... I thought I was going to pass out on the train tracks. When I got home I got more emails about my book that's due. Anyone with a 9-5 job gets to call out sick. I work at B&N on Monday and I called out. When you call out you don't have to worry about the job! You're home. Safe and sound. In your bed. With your box of tissues. When you're self-employed you're expected to continue working with a 100-degree temperature.

Excuse me for whining! But really. Without authors THERE WOULD BE NO PUBLISHING. And there would certainly BE NO AGENTS. Give me a break. An agent should allow an author to whine all he or she wants. Otherwise what are they good for? My agent said I could whine to her and I appreciate it.

What infuriates me more than anything is that there are so many people in publishing who just DON'T GET IT.
1) we never get a break. We work at home which means we are surrounded by our work 24/7.
2) What Linda said - when you break down the hours per check we make almost nothing per hour.
3) no health benefits
4) publishers notoriously don't pay on time. good luck with the rent because you might get that check in a month... two? three? I can't even count the number of times that I've run out of money and had to put the rent on a credit card.

So you might spend a year... or two... or three on a book and finally it gets published! Yay! Oh, but wait, it isn't in stores. It hasn't been publicized. It isn't going to sell. How can an author possibly get his or her book out there compared to what a giant business comprised of thousands of people can do to publicize a book? I'm sure there are arguments that an author can do a lot but I think unless you're independently wealthy or making books is a hobby for you then you won't have the time or money or energy to publicize.

Why don't we self publish? Oh gee, I don't know why. Let me think. Because self-published books don't get anywhere! Maybe some friends and family will buy it but that's about it. Book chains won't buy it. Reviewers won't review it. Even asking that question is silly in my opinion.

In all honesty I love what I do but it's also complete misery. Why do I do it? Because I don't know what else I'd do. I'm in some sort of awful trap and there's no way out. Yes, I may be extra whiny because I've got the flu and have a book due which = STRESS but that's the way it is. I'm not going to apologize for whining and any agent who expects an author to PRETEND like everything is okay is crazy.

meghan

p.s - this is obviously in response to Alvina's post but I'm glad she posted it and I don't blame her and since the agent in question isn't available to respond I know it's not entirely fair to rant... but I have the flu. that's my excuse.

No whining

I had lunch with an agent a few weeks ago who told me about her agency's "no whining" rule for authors. I'm curious as to what the authors out there will think about this: basically, the agent said that authors shouldn't whine about their publishers not doing anything (generally meaning that the publisher is putting and marketing/publicity attention on their books).

The agent wonders if the authors truly feel this way, then why do they continue to submit their work to publishers? Why don't they just self publish? This is what the publisher does for you, at minimum:

1) they edit, copyedit, and proofread your book
2) they design your book
3) they produce your book
4) they put your book in their catalog
5) they sell your book into their distribution channels
6) Oh, and you also get an advance and royalty

According to this agent, anything above and beyond is icing on the cake. Publishers are not obligated to market or publicize your book. But of course it's beneficial to the publisher to sell as many copies of your book as they can, because the publisher benefits as well.

The agent said that their agency works to find marketing and publicity partners to work with the publisher if they feel that it is appropriate (I forgot to ask who pays for this--the author or the agency?).

I've decided to not offer further commentary right now, and instead invite all of you to weigh in. So, what do you think? Agree or disagree? Do you expect more from your publisher?


In other news, I've lost my voice and am finally admitting to myself that I'm sick. Watch out for the nasty bug going around!

The last interior. This one killed me!

POETRY FRIDAY: The Powwow at the End of the World

Here is a great poem by Sherman Alexie that I found at Poetry Out Loud when I was looking for a poem by Langston Hughes for Black History Month. I like the way Alexie uses repetition to great effect in Powwow at the End of the World.


The Powwow at the End of the World

By Sherman Alexie

I am told by many of you that I must forgive and so I shall
after an Indian woman puts her shoulder to the Grand Coulee Dam
and topples it. I am told by many of you that I must forgive
and so I shall after the floodwaters burst each successive dam
downriver from the Grand Coulee. I am told by many of you
that I must forgive and so I shall after the floodwaters find
their way to the mouth of the Columbia River as it enters the Pacific
and causes all of it to rise. I am told by many of you that I must

forgive
and so I shall after the first drop of floodwater is swallowed by that

salmon
waiting in the Pacific. I am told by many of you that I must forgive

and so I shall
after that salmon swims upstream, through the mouth of the

Columbia
and then past the flooded cities, broken dams and abandoned

reactors
of Hanford.

You can read the rest of the poem here.

At Wild Rose Reader, I have a special post for The Year of the Frog. It includes an original mask poem I wrote, a link to a poem by Alice Schertle, and brief reviews of some poetry books and nonfiction books in verse about frogs and toads that I recommend.

Kelly Fineman has the Poetry Friday Roundup.

A few photos

I have to run to PT so I'll do a real post later!

meghan

studio dreams

Earlier in the month, illustrator Rebecca Doughty invited Anna and I for tea at her studio. I looked forward to it with great anticipation, because I think seeing other people's studios are fascinating. My own studio always seems to be a work in progress, which is why I have never finished the "studio tour" portion of my website. It's only been under construction for three years.

And maybe that is because touring other people's studios is much more interesting. Rebecca's most certainly was. It was large, bright and airy--complete with a small lounge area and a gallery wall for her beautiful, small bunny paintings. I definitely began to feel twinges of studio envy. It made me want to go home and start hanging little paintings on the wall and rearrange the furniture.
Something tells me the studio tour on my website will need another three years.

Loungy BRG weekend

As Alvina said, the Blue Rose Girls had a little getaway at Libby's this weekend. It was the first time we managed to have all of us in the same place at the same time, with the exception of our lovely poetry BRG, Elaine. First there was lounging, snacking, and talking about books.



Then more lounging, some drinking, and talking about books...

Then at some point we realized that without planning it, we were all wearing stripes (didn't mean to steal your thunder Longstockings, we are just THAT fashionable).



A more formal portrait:



And lastly, there was roller skating. Lots and lots of roller skating. Could there be a better weekend? Stay tuned for pics from Meghan and Alvina who took their cameras onto the roller rink floor... there are sure to be many extremely embarising pictures of us doing the hokey pokey on skates and trying to avoid tiny kamikaze child roller skaters darting in our paths...

Kindling Words Blogroll and Question

I'm a bit bleary-eyed after a fun and satisfying Blue Rose Girls weekend in Mystic, complete with rollerskating! Awesome. Pictures and videos to come. And then, of course, there was the Oscars. I think Jon Stewart did a great job, and I especially loved that the actress from Once was able to come back and give her speech after being "musicked" off the stage.

Anyway, another short post today before I go to work. I think most of you know that I generally attend the wonderful retreat Kindling Words (although I missed this year for the first time in four or five years due to the China trip). Well, author Amy Timberlake has just compiled the blogs of Kindling Words attendees using Google Reader, and has shared the link here. Pretty cool. And yes, the Blue Rose Girls blog is on there--we've all attended KW at least once, with the exception of Meghan and Elaine.

And then I'd like to leave with a question to those of us who are in publishing, or published. If you could have done anything differently, what would it have been? One common example that I took from this weekend was that many of us wished they had known how important doing school visits are.

For me it's different, because as publishing is an apprenticeship, I learned most everything I needed to know on the job. However, sometimes I wish that I had been an English major or at least an English minor, because I think that would have prepared me more for the critical reading/editing aspects of the job (I was a mass communications major--but perhaps that made me more well-rounded).

If you could do it over, what would you do differently? What do you wish you knew then?

City Hawk in doll form!

A new plush has arrived! My editor at S&S made this lovely little guy. She said it was simple to make so I'm going to put the patern up on my website. I will also be putting the pattern up for Laura's cute little guys as well... so stay tuned!

Here's my editor in her office with her creation. You may notice that the painting in the background looks familiar...


Here is the alien and the bird together. Aw.

POETRY FRIDAY: Possibilities (A List Poem)

Here is a poem entitled Possibilities, which was written by one of my favorite poets, Wislawa Szymborska. She received the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1996. Possibilities is a good example of a list poem.


Possibilities
by Wislawa Symboraska

I prefer movies.
I prefer cats.
I prefer the oaks along the Warta.
I prefer Dickens to Dostoyevsky.
I prefer myself liking people
to myself loving mankind.
I prefer keeping a needle and thread on hand, just in case.
I prefer the color green.
I prefer not to maintain
that reason is to blame for everything.
I prefer exceptions.I prefer to leave early.
I prefer talking to doctors about something else.
I prefer the old fine-lined illustrations.
I prefer the absurdity of writing poems
to the absurdity of not writing poems.
I prefer, where love's concerned, nonspecific anniversaries
that can be celebrated every day.
I prefer moralists
who promise me nothing.

You can read the rest of Szymborska’s poem here.

What are your preferences? Maybe some of you might like to try writing a list poem like Szymborska’s Possibilities???


For Wild Rose Reader, I composed a cento using the titles of children’s books written by African American authors or about the African American experience in honor of Black History Month.

Kelly has the Poetry Friday Roundup at Big A, little a.

no use crying over broken eggs

This year I set aside some time to paint an egg for the Open Field Egg auction. It's similiar to Robert's Snow with different artists creating works of art to be auctioned off for charity, except it's an egg (not a snowflake) and the money goes to a school (not cancer research).

I'm trying to make it a point to do an egg every time I am asked, and to do a good job with it--at least attempting to make it an art piece of value. The egg auction is in honor of beloved children's illustrator Trina Schart Hyman (she founded the event). Trina participated in the first Robert's Snow, shortly before her death--ironically from cancer. Her snowflake was probably one of the last pieces of art she created. The least I could do was to at least try to paint an egg of quality for her namesake auction.

So with my recent trip to China as inspiration, I decided to paint a lantern scene--glowing red lanterns floating in the dark sky with crowds of people walking and gazing below--it was going to be detailed, intricate, beautiful...

until I broke the egg.

Luckily, the smart people of the Open Fields sent two eggs just for these type of calamities. But now I was running out of time. I had spent too long with the broken egg, now there was no way I could do the in depth lantern scene in the time I had. So, I had to quickly come up with a simpler design:


Which is an illustration of part of a poem by the Chinese poet Li Po:

The birds have vanished down the sky.
Now the last cloud drains away.
We sit together, the mountain and me
until only the mountain remains.

It is one of my favorite poems, so for the time I had left, I was satisfied with the egg. But I think the lantern one would've been better. Oh well, maybe next time.

Highlights from the second Priscilla launch

As promised, here are some highlights from Saturday's second and final launch party for Priscilla and the Hollyhocks. We threw the party in my neighborhood of Jamaica Plain at a local bookstore, Jamaicaway Books. As most book folks know, it can be super hard to pull people out to a bookstore on a sunny Saturday afternoon. So I was extra delighted when the store filled with enthusiastic friends, kids, and teachers. As we began our talk the seats in front of us filled, by the time we finished it was standing room only.

As with last week's launch, we each spoke about our process; the research and creative decisions that helped create this book:



I showed everyone the photo research I did for Priscilla's character:



Compared the printed book to the actual art (see painting behind me):



And talked about the process of creating the book dummy:



Heres a pic of me, the editor of the book Yolanda, and Anne:



And a rather adorable attendee who came in a cat costume. Why didn't I think of that?

Why do kids lie?

Is it Monday already? Let me start off with a joke. An oldie but goodie (I first heard this from my Dad):

What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Martin Luther King Jr. all have in common?



?



?



?


They were all born on holidays.


Anyway, I've been enjoying my three-day weekend and so once again was caught unprepared for my day to post, so I'll leave you with this fascinating article that is the cover story in New York Magazine. (I originally saw it via Educating Alice.) It's all about why kids lie, when they first start lying, and what it all means. One tidbit I found fascinating is that kids actually have to be pretty smart to lie: "A child who is going to lie must recognize the truth, intellectually conceive of an alternate reality, and be able to convincingly sell that new reality to someone else." These more advanced kids start lying at age 2 or 3. So...if you catch your kid lying at that young of an age, take consolation in the fact that he or she is really smart.

The article asks if kids are copying adults when they lie--they observe adults telling white lies all the time, and they're also probably confused when adults coach them to lie--for example, when they're told to say they like a gift they don't really like. And, of course, they lie to escape punishment.

I also loved the description of the "Peeking Game" experiment.

Anyway, just read the article, I'm not doing it justice. But a warning--the photographs that accompany the article are pretty creepy.


And Congratulations to the winners of the 2007 Cybils!

The end of the story (I hope!)

Some of you may remember that awhile ago a publisher rejected the author photo of me in Cuzco, Peru. I sent them a few others, including the one that's in my profile -- all rejected. So I took some myself; but, as one of the girls said, you could tell that I had. My arms were kind of scrunched up and my eyes were looking the wrong way.

I am no photographer and it was also hard to get my whole face in the picture or for that matter, even SEE the picture since the view finder is in back. I solved that problem by holding the camera with the view finder facing a mirror. But, still, none of the pictures were really right....in fact, they all looked really bad.

So I drove up to Boston and Anna took this.

We (anna, grace, and I) examined it carefully, left lots of background in so they could crop it however they wanted, and sent it off.

But it too was rejected. Finally, after asking one of my sisters who looks a lot like me if she had a picture of herself I could use ("NO, that's crazy" was the answer) I took one more myself -- and,without consulting the BRGs (I figured I'd wasted enough of everyone's time! Almost all day Monday was spent emailing about this and other matters -- it was a week of drama for many of us, not just me). The publisher liked this picture "much better."


Or rather, the editor liked it. She and I have been allies on this and other things all along -- and by the way, the editor here is not Alvina. The designer (who by this time had become THEY to both of us) sent that back, too, and I sent one more (this time covering my hair in case that was the problem -- and now that I look at this picture I really wish I hadn't sent it but I wanted to get this DONE),

asking if they could make do with one or the other. And saying I was sorry that this was taking so much of her time. The editor emailed me that she had sent both "and now I'm going to forget about it."

Let's hope THEY let her! I hope this doesn't sound like I'm complaining; I'm not -- just reporting on this strange business. And resolving to spend the money and time getting an acceptable author photo before the next book in this series goes to press -- and make some improvements to my appearance, too.

POETRY FRIDAY: Three Poems by Paul Laurence Dunbar

I'm posting three poems by Paul Laurence Dunbar in honor of Black History Month.

Sympathy

I know what the caged bird feels, alas!
When the sun is bright on the upland slopes;
When the wind stirs soft through the springing grass,
And the river flows like a stream of glass;
When the first bird sings and the first bud opes,
And the faint perfume from its chalice steals—
I know what the caged bird feels!

You can read the rest of the poem here.

We Wear the Mask

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be overwise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

You can read the rest of the poem here.

Frederick Douglass

A hush is over all the teeming lists,
And there is pause, a breath-space in the strife;
A spirit brave has passed beyond the mists
And vapors that obscure the sun of life.
And Ethiopia, with bosom torn,
Laments the passing of her noblest born.

She weeps for him a mother's burning tears--
She loved him with a mother's deepest love.
He was her champion thro' direful years,
And held her weal all other ends above.
When Bondage held her bleeding in the dust,
He raised her up and whispered, "Hope and Trust."

You can read the rest of the poem here.

Click here to read more about Paul Laurence Dunbar.

At Wild Rose Reader, I have some short metaphor poems that I wrote for Miss Rumphius's Poetry Stretch this week.

Check out my earlier post Book Bunch: Looking at Langston Hughes. It includes a review of Tony Medina's poetry book Love to Langston and links to several poems written by Hughes.

HipWriterMama has the Poetry Friday Roundup this week.

author photos

So, I've been gone on already how this is an especially new year for me; and I have been embracing the idea of a fresh start. I've redecorated my house (am about to start a bathroom renovation!), canceling old projects, and starting new ones. It's the out with the old, on with the new mentality--which sounds trite but the symbolism of it all is fairly genuine. I guess I am striving for a new Grace --figuratively and literally!

And one of the things that I've done on this quest was to get my new author photos taken. As another symbolic gesture, I wanted a new look to them. So a friend of friend of mine, who is a professional photographer took them.

Now, this friend of friend, is great photographer. But I was a bit hazy about what I wanted. I just wanted it to be different from what I had before--calm, pleasant photos of me in a Chinese garden. So when I saw a red background available, I jumped on it. Red is the Chinese lucky color. And there was pattern on it, like my paintings. I told him it was an ideal backdrop because it was energetic and joyful.

So with that idea in mind, he began directing me and taking photos. They came out like this:
I was impressed, for little ol'me --and compared to my old pictures--it seemed like a visual transformation. My vanity was highly gratified, as I thought he made me look pretty good...but maybe too good? Somehow it didn't seem right for an author photo. When I told him this, he seemed a little confused (how can one look too good?) but agreed to take some shots less energetic and joyful.

Which got me this:
And made me laugh. Now I was a brooding children's book author. I told him something in between and finally got this:

Which I think I can use. Though I have a feeling I will have to try again. Because it is only now, after looking at all the photos that I think I know what the problem is. The red background which I pictured as Chinese New Year looks more like Victorian brothel. And that's probably not the setting most people expect the creators of their children's books to be in!

What do you think?

another doll!

This one is by Kerri Kokias. He's having tea! How cute is that?

Highlights from last weekend

So last Saturday was the first book launch for Priscilla at the Wellesley Booksmith, a really fabulous little independent book store just outside Boston. The author and I had a jolly old time! Even though I'm very familiar with the story, it was really interesting to hear Anne talk about her research and how she discovered the details of Priscilla's life. It is so difficult to get recorded details from that era about someone who was a slave... even simple things like her age had contradictory records! Totally fascinating.

For my part I mainly spoke about how I researched Priscilla as a character, how I incorporated reference materials and tried to make things like clothing and setting historically accurate- loyal blog readers will remember posts like this and this. (Please pardon the totally nerdy pic!)



I displayed a lot of process work from making the book; different sketch versions of the jacket, photos of kids that inspired me, the different versions of the book dummy.



Here is me and Anne after our talk. This is the first time I've actually met an author I've worked with in person! Usually they are miles away...



If you missed last Saturday, we'll be doing it all again this weekend at Jamaicaway Books, a great multicultural bookstore in my dearly beloved neighborhood of Jamaica Plain. Details below!

February 16th at 3:00 pm
Jamaicaway Books
676 Centre Street
Jamaica Plain, MA 02130
(617) 983-3204

Kids welcome!

the first dolls are in!!!

Laura Hamor made these great dolls! Aren't they cute? I'll post more later... have to run to work!

Don't forget to read Alvina's great post below.

meghan

What causes the tipping point?

Many of you may know that I'm a fan of Malcolm Gladwell's The New Yorker articles, and his two books The Tipping Point and Blink. I've given countless copies of the books away to friends, talked them up, I even wrote a post a while ago over at my personal blog about how Blink reinforced one of my goals of publishing books in which minorities and other underrepresented groups are featured in children's books (revisit that post here).

I've also recommended The Tipping Point to my authors who were thinking about ways to market their books, because I love what it says about how little things can make a big difference, that you never know which of your efforts will cause that "tipping point" and help make your book successful. So I was a little upset to read an article last week about network-theory scientist Duncan Watts who has somewhat disproved some of Gladwell's theories, in particular that of the "taste-makers" and connectors who are pivotal in deciding what things will be popular.

Watts decided to put the whole idea to the test by building another Sims-like computer simulation. He programmed a group of 10,000 people, all governed by a few simple interpersonal rules. Each was able to communicate with anyone nearby. With every contact, each had a small probability of "infecting" another. And each person also paid attention to what was happening around him: If lots of other people were adopting a trend, he would be more likely to join, and vice versa. The "people" in the virtual society had varying amounts of sociability--some were more connected than others. Watts designated the top 10% most-connected as Influentials; they could affect four times as many people as the average Joe. In essence, it was a virtual society run--in a very crude fashion--according to the rules laid out by thinkers like Gladwell and Keller.

Watts set the test in motion by randomly picking one person as a trendsetter, then sat back to see if the trend would spread. He did so thousands of times in a row.

The results were deeply counterintuitive. The experiment did produce several hundred societywide infections. But in the large majority of cases, the cascade began with an average Joe (although in cases where an Influential touched off the trend, it spread much further). To stack the deck in favor of Influentials, Watts changed the simulation, making them 10 times more connected. Now they could infect 40 times more people than the average citizen (and again, when they kicked off a cascade, it was substantially larger). But the rank-and-file citizen was still far more likely to start a contagion.

Watts concluded that "a trend's success depends not on the person who starts it, but on how susceptible the society is overall to the trend--not how persuasive the early adopter is, but whether everyone else is easily persuaded."

Initially, my main takeaway from reading this article was that it was all more of a crap shoot than I had previously thought. But then I realized that, in a way, it was almost comforting, because we don't have to be overly concerned about whether we're marketing something "right" or not--we just have to do our thing and hope that society is accepting. It's a little disappointing to think that merit plays very little into the results, but it also pretty much confirms what we all know--we all see books succeed that we consider to be, er, let's just say not so good, and wonderful books that fail to attract notice.

All I can say is, keep doing your thing, try to get as many people to know about your book as possible, and hope that all factors are aligned for you.