Friday, November 30, 2007

starting a new blog

Some of you may know that my personal blog is Fireside Chat. Lately not much has been said on "the chat." This is because I've been pretty sick off and on. Perhaps some of you will have trouble believing that statement. As my aunt said "You look really good." Yeah. So what? I suppose if I feel sick on the inside I should be covered in green boils or something equally gross on the outside. Sadly, that isn't the way it goes.

Anyhow, my new blog is going to be all about what I’ve been dealing with, perhaps in graphic detail, with some fun photos thrown in... which I think I'm going to do anonymously. Why is this? Because I need to deal with what has been going on with me but I still don't want everyone to know everything and furthermore, why would anyone care to read about it? No one wants to read the sad details. But for me I need this. I'm considering it therapeutic. This way I can keep the fireside chat and this blog illness free. No more talk about it! Right now being sick is a very big part of my life but I think it will be fun to separate it. Besides, my website blog is supposed to be funny, not awful. I'm cutting out the awful. I'd also like strangers to read my new and anonymous blog in the hopes that it will help them, if they're dealing with something similar. And believe me, those people are out there. I found a blog called something like MS or Lyme? I have a lot of the same symptoms so reading it is comforting for me.

My other worries--on the topic of making books I'm worried. What will happen if I don't have the creative energy to do it anymore? A lot of people who have the type of neuropathy that I do go on disability. I REFUSE to do that so I drag my sorry self into B&N even when I'm really sick--dizzy, ready to vomit, in severe pain.... But the problem with making books is that it's harder to do than to drag oneself into a mindless job. Creativity takes mental clarity. I think it also takes a certain POSITIVE mindset, at least when making kids' books. I'm not in the mindset right now. And what will happen? I only earn 150 or so per week at B&N. I can't live off of that! Being freelance is a scary thing and an endeavor that I sometimes regret entering.

But let's forget about all of that. On to more cheerful things! My blogs will be my split life/personality from now on. No more depressing talk.



Anonymous said...

Just like reading other people's blogs make you comforted, this post has comforted me. I struggle severely from certain physical limitations and have exhaustion as well, and I want to be a writer. I don't know what to say to make you feel better, as I fear saying anything that will devalue what you are going through. Some people like hearing this like: I know what you are going through but others don't like hearing such things. I know that I hate hearing that because I know that sometimes because I know that no two experiences are totally alike. We can connect in our pains, but in many ways yours is individual and specific, and also very emotional, because you are experiencing in such a deep way.

I don't know you but you are in my thoughts. I hope you keep pressing on. I believe in the power of words, and especially, children's literature. You can do it! And by believing in you, I also believe in myself.

I don't really pray but if I do, I'll keep you in my prayers.

alvinaling said...

Meghan, I know you said that blog would be anonymous, but I hope you'll share the link with us. I'm sorry you've been going through this, and hope you can somehow find relief.