Thursday, October 29, 2009

feeling guilt

I've been feeling better for a month or so now, and immediately the guilt is back. I"m talking about the not working 24/7 guilt. I just finished my adult memoir and somehow that isn't enough. Nothing is enough. Watching TV is awful. Eating is awful. Everything I do is awful unless it involves working. I hate it! I work as a cashier 3 days a week. I wish I could take 2 days off like a normal person without that guilt hanging over my head! When I was feeling sick all the time I didn't care about any of it. In fact, I didn't care to update my website or to work on books or anything book related. Now those interests are back, which is good, but as I said above, it comes with a price.

The guilt is back.


Anonymous said...

It's wonderful to hear that you're feeling better.

About the nagging guilt, is it possible to get counseling? You need relief.

A regular Blue Rose Girls reader

Anna Alter said...

so glad you're feeling better Meghan, thats really great news!

I know that guilt well, I think anyone who works at home or runs their own business is bound to feel that way at least part of the time.

the only thing I've found that helps is to try to keep regular working hours (which I am terrible at) and setting little goals for yourself each day, so you can feel like you accomplished something. then it becomes easier to take a break. though its always hard- in a field where it feels like you can never do enough for your books its hard to turn that switch off.

Libby Koponen said...

I my opinion that never-ending guilt (which I also feel -- mixed with anxiety; if I don't work I feel guilty and anxious) is the worst part of being a writer: worse than the lack of money etc.

But it IS good news that you are feeling better physically: very good news indeed!