from the BRG archives: To the Moon and Mars

HAVING THE FIRST WORDS

Guess what FedEx left at my house yesterday? Need a clue? Just want me to tell you the answer? Okay…TEAM MOON: HOW 400,000 PEOPLE LANDED APOLLO 11 ON THE MOON—and it was inscribed by the author, Catherine Thimmesh. It was my prize for submitting the funniest entry in Book Buds “Famous First Words” contest. Anne Boles Levy asked contestants to come up with the words we thought an astronaut would exclaim when stepping foot on Mars for the very first time.


I suppose you’d like to read my snarky entry:

The sky is pink.
The rocks are red.
There ain’t no birdies
Overhead.

It’s bare. It’s bleak.
Don’t see no plants…
Or other green
Inhabitants.

It’s desolate.
The air is scant.
Except for me—
No life’s extant.

It’s dusty, dry.
I need a beer.
Houston,
Get me outta here!

I actually entered two poems—but Anne liked this one better than my parody of Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.

A LOQUACIOUS ASTRONAUT WAXES POETIC AFTER STEPPING FOOT ON MARS

Whose planet’s this? I know I know.
His home’s on Mount Olympus so
He will not see me stopping here
To go exploring to and fro.

The polar ice cap’s very near.
I spy three skaters. Drat! I fear
Some other life forms came before.
I’m NOT the first Mars pioneer.

I see a Super Star Trek Store…
And garish neon signs galore!
There’s garbage everywhere I tread.
Don’t want to be here anymore.

This trip’s a bust to “Planet Red.”
Yo, Earth, give me the go-ahead
To visit Jupiter instead,
To visit Jupiter instead.


Now…back to the MOON! Figuratively, that is, not literally. In addition to being a poetry geek, I am also an astronomy buff. TEAM MOON is my kind of book. Even a young child who can’t yet read could get lost in this book just looking at the amazing photographs. (I know a young grandnephew who is going to get a copy of TEAM MOON for his birthday in two weeks. He’s an astronomy buff like me.)

I wrote Anne yesterday to tell her I had received my prize. I also said I just might have to write another poem for the occasion. But…I have sooooo many old moldering poems in my files that I was able to pull this one out to post today. The following poem is now dedicated to Anne and Catherine Thimmesh.


MARY HAD A LITTLE MOON
(Another old moldering poem by Elaine Magliaro)

Mary had a little moon.
It shone just like a star.
And everywhere that Mary went
She brought it in a jar.

She sneaked it into class one day,
Which was against the rule—
But teacher smiled because it was
The brightest thing in school.


First published November 1st, 2006