Thursday, July 05, 2007

when the crap of life gets in the way

Lately I must admit that I haven't had much time to post... to update my website... to write on my personal blog... and worst of all, to work on my books.

First I had a "friend" who ended up being a conman who was stealing people's SS#s and taking out loans in their names.. my FRIENDS names.... maybe my name! I freaked out about that. Then I got diagnosed with an untreatable nerve condition. Basically for the rest of my life (unless a dr. finds the cause) my nerves will continue to be damaged by either a virus, a poison, or autoimmune... which means my entire body will feel pain from the nerves misfiring... and numbness... and pins and needles... and weakness... and god knows what else. As long as I don't progress further, I'll be okay. If my symptoms progress, I don't know what will happen to me. It could be bad. Of course I freaked out about that. I'm still freaking out. It's consuming me. My parents were supposed to go on a bike trip across Colorado last week... my father went in for a routine dr. check-up a few days before leaving... and just like that the trip had to be cancelled and my father had to emergency quadruple bypass surgery. The Dr. said he wouldn't have made it. I freaked out about that. There's always the possibility of something happening (obviously). I went to RI to see him in the ICU. Thankfully, my dad is okay although it's been rough.

So there you have it. Lately there's always something IN THE WAY of creativity. To be creative your mind has to be free of clutter. Mine hasn't been.

My parents decided to move and sadly sold their house (my childhood home) a week before my father found out he'd have to have surgery. Yes, more drama. While in RI I took some photos... for the memories. These places mean a lot to me. This is where I grew up. This is where I played. This is where I used my imagination.

Yes, there's a deer in this picture! Look closely.

And now I will end by sharing one of my almost finished pieces for my astronaut book. This is for the title page. FINALLY I think I'm back on track!


Anonymous said...

Dear Meghan,

How frightening!

Glad to hear your father is doing well.

...and I hope everything quiets down. Most importantly your physical pain.

The new piece is FUN!


alvinaling said...

Wow, Meghan, that's a lot to be dealing with. Hang in there!

Those pictures are beautiful. I'm at my parents house right now, and have been nostalgic, too.

Anonymous said...


Your words "To be creative your mind has to be free of clutter. Mine hasn't been." really resonated with me. It *is* hard to create sometimes when different areas of your life seem to be crumbling.

I hope all of these issues have the best possible resolution. Take care of yourself!

Anna Alter said...

Hey Meghan-

Sorry to hear things are so crazy right now! I hope things calm down soon. The pics of your hometown are so beautiful, they remind me of the woods near where I grew up.

Libby Koponen said...

Hey Meghan,
Oh, that all sounds hard! You express it really well, though....and it's also helpful to hear that other people have times, too, when they just can't concentrate because of everything that's going on.

It's sad that your parents are selling the house.

Astronauts looks really great, though!


Elaine Magliaro said...


It's a good thing your father had a checkup before embarking on his trip. I hope his recovery is going well.

After my maternal grandmother passed away, it was about ten years before my mother and uncle decided to put their parents' house on the market. They really hated selling the home where they had spent their happy childhood days.

I hope the doctors figure out what is causing your nerve problem. Have you gotten a second opinion? I suffered with a medical condition that caused me to be in pain 24/7 for more than four years before it was diagnosed. One of the doctors I went to told me he thought my problem was psychological! Well...after major surgery, my psychological problem disappeared.

Meghan McCarthy said...

I've gone to 3 different regular doctor... my doctor at PT. There really is no treatment for idiopathic cases of what I have. It's all over the internet. I'm screwed! The only thing left to do would be to get an IV with antibodies in it and hope it covers the nerves for a while so that they don't deteriorate more. I am in pain 24/7 and now I'm getting dizzy and nauseous from god knows what. It's a scary thing! I went through the denial phase and the anger phase and the why me phase. I think I'm hitting the depression phase.


Rita said...

These photos are really lovely.

Really lovely.